Chap. Thirteen - Self-Control
Prepare Children for Life and Its Duties.--Well may the mother inquire with deep anxiety, as she looks upon the children given to her care, What is the great aim and object of their education? Is it to fit them for life and its duties, to qualify them to take an honorable position in the world, to do good, to benefit their fellow-beings, to gain eventually the reward of the righteous? If so, then the first lesson to be taught them is self-control; for no undisciplined, headstrong person can hope for success in this world or reward in the next. {CG 91.1}
Train the Child to Yield.--The little ones, before they are a year old, hear and understand what is spoken in reference to themselves, and know to what extent they are to be indulged. Mothers, you should train your children to yield to your wishes. This point must be gained if you would hold the control over your children, and preserve your dignity as a mother. Your children quickly learn just what you expect of them, they know when their will conquers yours, and will make the most of their victory. {CG 91.2}
It is the veriest cruelty to allow wrong habits to be developed, to give the law into the hands of the child and let him rule. {CG 91.3}
Do Not Gratify Selfish Wishes.--If parents are not careful, they will treat their children in such a way as will lead the children to demand attention and privileges that will call for the parents to deprive themselves in order to indulge their little ones. The children will call upon the parents to do things for them, to gratify their wishes, and the parents will concede to their wishes, regardless of the fact that it is inculcating selfishness in their children. But in doing this work parents are wronging their children, and will find out afterwards how difficult a thing it is to counteract the influence of the education of the first few years in a child's life. Children need to learn early that they cannot be gratified when selfishness prompts their wishes. {CG 91.4}
Give Nothing for Which Children Cry.--One precious lesson which the mother will need to repeat again and again is that the child is not to rule; he is not the master, but her will and her wishes are to be supreme. Thus she is teaching them self-control. Give them nothing for which they cry, even if your tender heart desires ever so much to do this; for if they gain the victory once by crying they will expect to do it again. The second time the battle will be more vehement. {CG 92.1}
Never Permit Display of Angry Passions.--Among the first tasks of the mother is the restraining of passion in her little ones. Children should not be allowed to manifest anger; they should not be permitted to throw themselves upon the floor, striking and crying because something has been denied them which was not for their best good. I have been distressed as I have seen how many parents indulge their children in the display of angry passions. Mothers seem to look upon these outbursts of anger as something that must be endured, and appear indifferent to the child's behavior. But if an evil is permitted once, it will be repeated, and its repetition will result in habit, and so the child's character will receive an evil mold. {CG 92.2}
When to Rebuke the Evil Spirit.--I have often seen the little one throw itself and scream if its will was crossed in any way. This is the time to rebuke the evil spirit. The enemy will try to control the minds of our children, but shall we allow him to mold them according to his will? These little ones cannot discern what spirit is influencing them, and it is the duty of parents to exercise judgment and discretion for them. Their habits must be carefully watched. Evil tendencies are to be restrained, and the mind stimulated in favor of the right. The child should be encouraged in every effort to govern itself. {CG 93.1}
Begin With the "Songs of Bethlehem."--Mothers should educate their babies in their arms after correct principles and habits. They should not allow them to pound their heads on the floor. . . . Let the mothers educate them in their infancy. Commence with the songs of Bethlehem. These soft tunes will have a quieting influence. Sing them these subdued tunes in regard to Christ and His love. {CG 93.2}
No Wavering or Indecision.--Perverse temper should be checked in the child as soon as possible; for the longer this duty is delayed, the more difficult it is to accomplish. Children of quick, passionate disposition need the special care of their parents. They should be dealt with in a particularly kind but firm manner; there should be no wavering or indecision on the part of the parents in their case. The traits of character which would naturally check the growth of their peculiar faults should be carefully nourished and strengthened. Indulgence of the child of passionate and perverse disposition will result in his ruin. His faults will strengthen with his years, retard the development of his mind, and overbalance all the good and noble traits of his character. {CG 93.3}
An Example of Parental Self-control Is Vital.-- Some parents have not control over themselves. They do not control their own morbid appetites or their passionate temper; therefore they cannot educate their children in regard to the denial of their appetite, and teach them self-control. {CG 94.1}
If parents desire to teach their children self-control, they must first form the habit themselves. The scolding and faultfinding of parents encourages a hasty, passionate temper in their children. {CG 94.2}
Weary Not in Well-doing.--Parents are too fond of ease and pleasure to do the work appointed them of God in their home life. We should not see the terrible state of evil that exists among the youth of today if they had been properly trained at home. If parents would take up their God-given work and would teach self-restraint, self-denial, and self-control to their children, both by precept and example, they would find that while they were seeking to do their duty, so as to meet the approval of God, they would be learning precious lessons in the school of Christ. They would be learning patience, forbearance, love, and meekness; and these are the very lessons that they must teach to their children. {CG 94.3}
After the moral sensibilities of the parents are aroused, and they take up their neglected work with renewed energy, they should not become discouraged or allow themselves to be hindered in the work. Too many become weary in well-doing. When they find that it requires taxing effort, and constant self-control, and increased grace, as well as knowledge, to meet the unexpected emergencies that arise, they become disheartened, and give up the struggle, and let the enemy of souls have his own way. Day after day, month after month, year after year, the work is to go on, till the character of your child is formed, and the habits established in the right way. You should not give up and leave your families to drift along in a loose, ungoverned manner. {CG 94.4}
Never Lose Control of Yourselves.--Never should we lose control of ourselves. Let us ever keep before us the perfect Pattern. It is a sin to speak impatiently and fretfully or to feel angry--even though we do not speak. We are to walk worthy, giving a right representation of Christ. The speaking of an angry word is like flint striking flint: it at once kindles wrathful feelings. {CG 95.1}
Never be like a chestnut bur. In the home do not allow yourself to use harsh, rasping words. You should invite the heavenly Guest to come into your home, at the same time making it possible for Him and the heavenly angels to abide with you. You should receive the righteousness of Christ, the sanctification of the Spirit of God, the beauty of holiness, that you may reveal to those around you the Light of life. {CG 95.2}
"He that is slow to anger," says the wise man, "is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit, than he that taketh a city." The man or woman who preserves the balance of the mind when tempted to indulge passion stands higher in the sight of God and heavenly angels than the most renowned general that ever led an army to battle and to victory. Said a celebrated emperor when on his dying bed, "Among all my conquests there is but one which affords me any consolation now, and that is the conquest I have gained over my own turbulent temper." Alexander and Caesar found it easier to subdue a world than to subdue themselves. After conquering nation after nation, they fell--one of them "the victim of intemperance, the other of mad ambition." {CG 95.3}
Chap. Fourteen - Quietness, Respect, and Reverence
Repress Undue Noise and Turbulence.--Let not a mother allow her mind to be occupied with too many things. . . . With the greatest diligence and the closest watchfulness she must care for the little ones who, if allowed, will follow every impulse springing out of the fullness of their unpracticed, ignorant hearts. In their exuberance of spirit they will give utterance to noise and turbulence in the home. This should be checked. Children will be just as happy if they are educated not to do these things. They are to be taught that when visitors come, they are to be quiet and respectful. {CG 97.1}
Let Quietness Reign in the Home.--Fathers and mothers, . . . teach your children that they must be subordinate to law. Do not allow them to think that because they are children, it is their privilege to make all the noise they wish in the house. Wise rules and regulations must be made and enforced, that the beauty of the home life may not be spoiled. {CG 97.2}
Parents do their children great wrong when they allow them to scream and cry. They should not be allowed to be careless and boisterous. If these objectionable traits of character are not checked in their early years, the children will take them with them, strengthened and developed, into religious and business life. Children will be just as happy if they are taught to be quiet in the house. {CG 97.3}
Teach Respect for Experienced Judgment.--Children should be taught to respect experienced judgment. They should be so educated that their minds will be united with the minds of their parents and teachers, and so instructed that they can see the propriety of heeding their counsel. Then when they go forth from the guiding hand, their characters will not be like the reed trembling in the wind. {CG 98.1}
Parental Laxness Encourages Disrespect.--If in their own homes children are allowed to be disrespectful, disobedient, unthankful, and peevish, their sins lie at the door of their parents. {CG 98.2}
The mother . . . is to rule her household wisely, in the dignity of her motherhood. Her influence in the home is to be paramount; her word, law. If she is a Christian, under God's control, she will command the respect of her children. Tell your children exactly what you require of them. {CG 98.3}
When parents do not maintain their authority, when the children go to school, they have no particular respect for the teachers or principal of the school. The reverence and respect that they should have, they were never taught to have at home. Father and mother were on the same level with the children. {CG 98.4}
Results of Unchecked Impertinence.--Show respect for your children, and do not allow them to speak one disrespectful word to you. {CG 98.5}
A Wise Youthful Attitude.--Wise is that young man and highly blest who feels it to be his duty, if he has parents, to look up to them, and if he has not, who regards his guardian, or those with whom he lives, as counselors, as comforters, and in some respects as his rulers, and who allows the restraints of his home to abide upon him. {CG 98.6}
Reverence to Be Carefully Cherished. [NOTE: FOR A FULLER TREATMENT OF THIS SUBJECT, SEE CHAPTER 80, "REVERENCE FOR THAT WHICH IS HOLY."]--Reverence . . . is a grace that should be carefully cherished. Every child should be taught to show true reverence for God. {CG 99.1}
The Lord desires us to understand that we must place our children in right relation to the world, the church, and the family. Their relation to the family is the first point to be considered. Let us teach them to be polite to one another, and polite to God. "What do you mean," you may inquire, "by saying that we should teach them to be polite to God?" I mean that they are to be taught to reverence our heavenly Father and to appreciate the great and infinite sacrifice that Christ has made in our behalf. . . . Parents and children are to sustain so close a relation to God that the heavenly angels can communicate with them. These messengers are shut out from many a home where iniquity and impoliteness to God abound. Let us catch from His Word the spirit of heaven and bring it into our life here below. {CG 99.2}
How to Teach Reverence.--Parents can and should interest their children in the varied knowledge found in the sacred pages. But if they would interest their sons and daughters in the Word of God, they must be interested in it themselves. They must be familiar with its teachings and, as God commanded Israel, speak of it "when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up." Deuteronomy 11:19. Those who desire their children to love and reverence God must talk of His goodness, His majesty, and His power, as revealed in His Word and in the works of creation. {CG 99.3}
Reverence Is Revealed by Obedience.--Let children be shown that true reverence is revealed by obedience. God has commanded nothing that is unessential, and there is no other way of manifesting reverence so pleasing to Him as by obedience to that which He has spoken. {CG 100.1}
Chap. Fifteen - Care in Handling Property
Repress Destructive Tendencies.--Education must be all-round and uniform. Every mother needs to be diligent. She must allow nothing to divert her mind. She must not allow her children to follow their uneducated will in handling things in the home. They should be taught that they are not to keep the house in perpetual disorder by handling things for their own amusement. Mothers, teach your children from their earliest years that they are not to look upon everything in the home as playthings for them. By these little things order is taught. No matter what fuss the children may make, let not the organ of destruction, which is large in babyhood and childhood, be strengthened and cultivated. "Thou shalt," and "Thou shalt not," God says. Without loss of temper, but decidedly, parents are to say to their children, No, and mean it. {CG 101.1}
With firmness they are to refuse to allow everything in the home to be handled freely and thrown about on the floor or in the dirt. Those who allow a child to pursue such a course are doing him a great wrong. He may not be a bad child, but his education is making him very troublesome and destructive. {CG 101.2}
Teach Respect for Others' Property.--Some parents allow their children to be destructive, to use as playthings things which they have no right to touch. Children should be taught that they must not handle the property of other people. For the comfort and happiness of the family, they must learn to observe the rules of propriety. Children are no happier when they are allowed to handle everything they see. If they are not educated to be caretaking, they will grow up with unlovely, destructive traits of character. {CG 101.3}
Strong and Durable Playthings.--Do not give the children playthings that are easily broken. To do this is to teach lessons in destructiveness. Let them have a few playthings, and let these be strong and durable. Such suggestions, small though they may seem, mean much in the education of the child. {CG 102.1}
Chap. Sixteen - Health Principles
Begin Health Education Early.--The Creator of man has arranged the living machinery of our bodies. Every function is wonderfully and wisely made. And God has pledged Himself to keep this human machinery in healthful action if the human agent will obey His laws and co-operate with God. . . . We may behold and admire the work of God in the natural world, but the human habitation is the most wonderful. {CG 103.1}
From the first dawn of reason, the human mind should become intelligent in regard to the physical structure. Here Jehovah has given a specimen of Himself, for man was made in the image of God. {CG 103.2}
The first study of the young should be to know themselves and how to keep their bodies in health. {CG 103.3}
Lessons of Primary Importance.--In the early education of children, many parents and teachers fail to understand that the greatest attention needs to be given to the physical constitution, that a healthy condition of body and brain can be secured. {CG 103.4}
The future happiness of your families and the welfare of society depend largely upon the physical and moral education which your children receive in the first years of their life. {CG 103.5}
Parents to Understand and Teach Physiology.--If parents themselves would obtain knowledge and feel the importance of putting it to a practical use in the education of their dear children, we should see a different order of things among youth and children. The children need to be instructed in regard to their own bodies. There are but few youth who have any definite knowledge of the mysteries of human life. They know but little about the living machinery. Says David, "I will praise thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." {CG 103.6}
Teach your children to study from cause to effect; show them that if they violate the laws of their being, they must pay the penalty by suffering disease. If in your effort you can see no special improvement, be not discouraged; patiently instruct, line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little. . . . Press on until the victory is gained. Continue to teach your children in regard to their own bodies, and how to take care of them. Recklessness in regard to bodily health tends to recklessness in moral character. {CG 104.1}
Healthful Living Should Be a Family Matter.-- Healthful living must be made a family matter. Parents should awake to their God-given responsibilities. Let them study the principles of health reform and teach their children that the path of self-denial is the only path of safety. The mass of the inhabitants of the world by their disregard of physical law are destroying their power of self-control and unfitting themselves to appreciate eternal realities. Willingly ignorant of their own structure, they lead their children in the path of self-indulgence, thus preparing the way for them to suffer the penalty of the transgression of nature's laws. {CG 104.2}
Physical Training Should Be Given.--Physical training, the development of the body, is far more easily given than spiritual training. The nursery, the playground, the workshop; the sowing of the seed, and the gathering of the harvest--all these give physical training. Under ordinarily favorable circumstances a child naturally gains healthful vigor and a proper development of the bodily organs. Yet even in physical lines the child should be carefully trained. {CG 104.3}
Obedience to Nature's Laws Brings Health and Happiness.--Our children should be instructed that they may be intelligent in regard to their own physical organism. They can at an early age, by patient instruction, be made to understand that they should be made to obey the laws of their being if they would be free from pain and disease. They should understand that their lives cannot be useful if they are crippled by disease. Neither can they please God if they bring sickness upon themselves by the disregard of nature's laws. {CG 105.1}