Chap. Nine - A Call for Self-Improvement

Continual Advancement Necessary.--The mother's work is such that it demands continual advancement in her own life, in order that she may lead her children to higher and still higher attainments. But Satan lays his plans to secure the souls of both parents and children. Mothers are drawn away from the duties of home and the careful training of their little ones, to the service of self and the world. {CG 71.1}

     For the sake of their children, if for no other reason, mothers should cultivate their intellects, for they bear a greater responsibility in their work than does the king upon his throne. Few mothers feel the weight of the trust that is given them, or realize the efficiency they can attain for their peculiar work through patient, thorough effort in self-culture. {CG 71.2}

     And first, the mother needs to strictly discipline and cultivate all the faculties and affections of the mind and heart, that she may not have a distorted or one-sided character and leave the marks of her deficiency or eccentricity upon her offspring. Many mothers need [to] be roused to see the positive necessity of a change in their purposes and characters in order to perform acceptably the duties they have voluntarily assumed by entering upon the married life. The channel of woman's usefulness can be widened and her influence extended to an almost unlimited degree if she will give proper attention to these matters, which affect the destiny of the human race. {CG 71.3}

Constantly Increase in Wisdom and Efficiency.-- Mothers, above all others, should accustom themselves to thought and investigation if they would increase in wisdom and efficiency. Those who persevere in this course will soon perceive that they are acquiring the faculty in which they thought themselves deficient; they are learning to form aright the characters of their children. The result of the labor and thought given to this work will be seen in their obedience, their simplicity, their modesty and purity. This result will richly repay all the effort made. {CG 71.4}

     God would have mothers seek constantly to improve both the mind and the heart. They should feel that they have a work to do for Him in the education and training of their children, and the more perfectly they can improve their own powers, the more efficient will they become in their work as parents. {CG 72.1}

Parents Should Grow Intellectually and Morally.-- It is the duty of mothers to cultivate their minds and keep their hearts pure. They should improve every means within their reach for their intellectual and moral improvement, that they may be qualified to improve the minds of their children. {CG 72.2}

     Parents should be constant learners in the school of Christ. They need freshness and power, that with the simplicity of Christ they may teach the younger members of God's family the knowledge of His will. {CG 72.3}

The Amazing Power of Christian Culture.--Parents have not yet aroused to understand the amazing power of Christian culture. There are mines of truth to be worked that have been strangely neglected. This careless indifference does not meet the approval of God. Parents, God calls upon you to look at this matter with anointed eyes. You have as yet only skimmed the surface. Take up your long-neglected work, and God will co-operate with you. Do your work with wholeheartedness, and God will help you to make improvement. Begin by bringing the gospel into the home life. {CG 72.4}

     We are now in God's workshop. Many of us are rough stones from the quarry. But as the truth of God is brought to bear upon us, every imperfection is removed and we are prepared to shine as lively stones in the heavenly temple, where we shall be brought into association, not only with the holy angels, but with the King of heaven Himself. {CG 73.1}

The Aim--Perfection.--Mothers, will you not dispense with useless, unimportant labor for that which must perish with the using? Will you not seek to draw near to God, that His wisdom may guide and His grace assist you, in a work which will be as enduring as eternity? Aim to make your children perfect in character. Remember that such only can see God. . . . {CG 73.2}

     Many parents are neglecting their God-given work. They are themselves far from purity and holiness, and they do not see the defects of their children as they would if their own eyes were beholding and admiring the perfection of Christ's character. {CG 73.3}

How to Become an Ideal Mother.--Instead of sinking into a mere household drudge, let the wife and mother take time to read, to keep herself well informed, to be a companion to her husband, and to keep in touch with the developing minds of her children. Let her use wisely the opportunities now hers to influence her dear ones for the higher life. Let her take time to make the dear Saviour a daily companion and familiar friend. Let her take time for the study of His Word, take time to go with the children into the fields and learn of God through the beauty of His works. {CG 73.4}

     Let her keep cheerful and buoyant. Instead of spending every moment in endless sewing, make the evening a pleasant social season, a family reunion after the day's duties. Many a man would thus be led to choose the society of his home before that of the clubhouse or the saloon. Many a boy would be kept from the street or the corner grocery. Many a girl would be saved from frivolous, misleading associations. The influence of the home would be to parents and children what God designed it should be, a lifelong blessing. {CG 74.1}

Make a Success of Domestic Life--Counsel to a Mother.--You should not follow your own inclinations. You should be very careful to set a right example in all things. Do not be inactive. Arouse your dormant energies. Make yourself a necessity to your husband by being attentive and helpful. Be a blessing to him in everything. Take up the duties essential to be done. Study how to perform with alacrity the plain, uninteresting, homely, but most needful duties which relate to domestic life. . . . {CG 74.2}

     Try to make a success of your domestic life. It means more to fill the position of wife and mother than you have thought. . . . You need the culture and experience of domestic life. You need the variety, the stir, the earnest effort, the cultivation of the will power, that this life brings. {CG 74.3}

Parents Who Are Too Busy.--Many parents plead that they have so much to do that they have no time to improve their minds, to educate their children for practical life, or to teach them how they may become lambs of Christ's fold. {CG 74.4}

     Parents must not neglect to arm their own minds against sin, to guard against that which will not only ruin themselves, but transmit pain and every kind of misery and evil to their offspring. By correctly educating themselves, parents are to teach their children that the heavens do rule. {CG 75.1}

Parents Should Welcome Counsel.--While they sleep in godless indifference, Satan is sowing in the hearts of their children seeds which will spring up to bear a harvest of death. Yet often such parents resent counsel as to their mistakes. They act as though they would like to ask those who offer advice, What right have you to meddle with my children? But are their children not God's children also? How does He regard their wicked neglect of duty? What excuse will they offer when He asks them why they brought children into the world, and then left them to be the sport of Satan's temptations? {CG 75.2}

     Be prepared to listen to counsel from others. Do not feel that it is no business of your brethren or sisters how you treat your children, or how your children conduct themselves. {CG 75.3}

Benefits of Meetings for Mutual Counsel. [NOTE: REFERENCE IS HERE MADE TO GROUP STUDY AS IN CAMP MEETING.]--God has committed to our hands a most sacred work, and we need to meet together to receive instruction, that we may be fitted to perform this work. . . . We need to meet together and receive the divine touch that we may understand our work in the home. Parents need to understand how they may send forth from the sanctuary of the home their sons and daughters so trained and educated that they will be fitted to shine as lights in the world. {CG 75.4}

     From the camp meeting we may take with us a better understanding of our home duties. There are lessons to be learned here regarding the work the Lord would have our sisters do in their homes. They are to learn to cultivate politeness of speech when speaking to husband and children. They are to study how they may help to bring every member of the family under discipline to God. Let fathers and mothers realize that they are under obligation to make home pleasant and attractive, and that obedience is not to be obtained by scolding and threats. Many parents have yet to learn that no good is accomplished by outbursts of scolding. Many do not consider the need of speaking kindly to the children. They do not remember that these little ones are bought with a price and are the purchased possession of the Lord Jesus. {CG 76.1}

Chap. Ten - The Key to Happiness and Success

Happiness Dependent on Obedience.--Let fathers, mothers, and the educators in our schools remember that it is a higher branch of education to teach children obedience. Altogether too little importance is attached to this line of education. {CG 79.1}

 Children will be happier, far happier, under proper discipline than if left to do as their untrained impulses suggest. {CG 79.2}

     Prompt and continual obedience to wise parental rule will promote the happiness of the children themselves, as well as the honor of God and the good of society. Children should learn that in submission to the laws of the household is their perfect liberty. Christians will learn the same lesson--that in their obedience to God's law is their perfect freedom. {CG 79.3}

     The will of God is the law of heaven. As long as that law was the rule of life, all the family of God were holy and happy. But when the divine law was disobeyed, then envy, jealousy, and strife were introduced, and a part of the inhabitants of heaven fell. As long as God's law is revered in our earthly homes, the family will be happy. {CG 79.4}

Disobedience Caused Loss of Eden.--The history of Adam and Eve's disobedience in the very beginning of this earth's history is fully given. By that one act of disobedience our first parents lost their beautiful Eden home. And it was such a little thing! We have reason to be thankful that it was not a larger matter, because if it had been, little disregards in disobedience would have been multiplied. It was the least test that God could give the holy pair in Eden. {CG 79.5}

 Disobedience and transgression are ever a great offense to God. Unfaithfulness in that which is least will soon, if uncorrected, lead to transgression in that which is great. It is not the greatness of the disobedience, but the disobedience itself which is the crime. {CG 80.1}

The Foundation of Temporal and Spiritual Prosperity.--Temporal and spiritual prosperity are made conditional upon obedience to the law of God. But we do not read God's Word, and thus become familiar with the terms of the blessing that is to be given to all who hearken diligently to God's law and teach it diligently in their families. Obedience to God's Word is our life, our happiness. We look upon the world and see it groaning under the wickedness and violence of men who have degraded the law of God. He has withdrawn His blessing from orchard and vineyard. Were it not for His commandment-keeping people who live upon the earth, He would not stay His judgments. He extends His mercy because of the righteous, who love and fear Him. {CG 80.2}

Guide the Children Into Paths of Obedience.--A sacred duty rests upon parents to guide their children into paths of strict obedience. True happiness in this life and in the future life depends upon obedience to a "Thus saith the Lord." Parents, let Christ's life be the pattern. Satan will devise every possible means to break down this high standard of piety as one altogether too strict. It is your work to impress upon your children in their early years the thought that they are formed in the image of God. Christ came to this world to give them a living example of what they all must be, and parents who claim to believe the truth for this time are to teach their children to love God and to obey His law. This is the greatest and most important work that fathers and mothers can do. . . . It is God's design that even the children and youth shall understand intelligently what God requires, that they may distinguish between righteousness and sin, between obedience and disobedience. {CG 80.3}

Obedience to Become a Delight.--Parents should educate their children line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little, not allowing any disregard of God's holy law. They should rely upon divine power, asking the Lord to help them to keep their children true to Him who gave His only-begotten Son to bring the disloyal and disobedient back to their allegiance. God longs to pour upon men and women the rich current of His love. He longs to see them delighting to do His will, using every jot of their entrusted powers in His service, teaching all who come within the sphere of their influence that the way to be treated as righteous for Christ's sake is to obey the law. {CG 81.1}

Chap. Eleven - To be Taught from Babyhood

Begin the Teaching Early.--Obedience to parental authority should be inculcated in babyhood and cultivated in youth. {CG 82.1}

     Some parents think that they can let their little ones have their own way in their babyhood, and then when they get older, they will reason with them; but this is a mistake. Begin in the baby life to teach obedience. . . . Require obedience in your home school. {CG 82.2}

     From their earliest life children should be taught to obey their parents, to respect their word, and to reverence their authority. {CG 82.3}

Before Reason Is Developed.--One of the first lessons a child needs to learn is the lesson of obedience. Before he is old enough to reason, he may be taught to obey. {CG 82.4}

     The mother's work should commence with the infant. She should subdue the will and temper of the child and bring its disposition into subjection. Teach it to obey, and as the child grows older, relax not the hand. {CG 82.5}

Before Self-will Grows Strong.--Few parents begin early enough to teach their children obedience. The child is usually allowed to get two or three years the start of its parents, who forbear to discipline it, thinking it is too young to learn to obey. But all this time self is growing strong in the little being, and every day makes it a harder task for the parent to gain control of the child. {CG 82.6}

     At a very early age children can comprehend what is plainly and simply told them, and, by kind and judicious management, can be taught to obey. . . . The mother should not allow her child to gain an advantage over her in a single instance; and, in order to maintain this authority, it is not necessary to resort to harsh measures; a firm, steady hand and a kindness which convinces the child of your love will accomplish the purpose. But let selfishness, anger, and self-will have their course for the first three years of a child's life, and it will be hard to bring it to submit to wholesome discipline. Its disposition has become soured; it delights in having its own way; parental control is distasteful. These evil tendencies grow with its growth, until, in manhood, supreme selfishness and a lack of self-control place him at the mercy of the evils that run riot in our land. {CG 82.7}

 Never should they [the children] be allowed to show their parents disrespect. Self-will should never be permitted to go unrebuked. The future well-being of the child requires kindly, loving, but firm discipline. {CG 83.1}

Obedience to Parents Leads to Obedience to God.-- The youth and children who have praying parents have been greatly privileged, for such have an opportunity to know and love God. In respecting and rendering obedience to their parents, they may learn how to respect and obey their heavenly Father. If they walk as children of the light, they will be kind and courteous, loving and respectful, to their parents, whom they have seen, and thus be better qualified to love God, whom they have not seen. If they are faithful representatives of their parents, practicing the truth through the help given them of God, then by precept and example they acknowledge the ownership of God and honor Him by a well-ordered life and godly conversation. {CG 83.2}

Only the Obedient Enter Heaven.--Let parents and teachers impress upon the minds of the children that the Lord is proving them in this life, to see if they will render obedience to Him with love and reverence. Those who would not be obedient to Christ here would not obey Him in the eternal world. {CG 84.1}

     If parents or children are ever welcomed into the mansions above, it will be because they have in this world learned to obey the commands of God. {CG 84.2}

Chap. Twelve - Obedience Must Become a Habit

Use Gentle but Persistent Effort.--Children are to be taught that their capabilities were given them for the honor and glory of God. To this end they must learn the lesson of obedience. . . . By gentle, persistent effort the habit should be established. Thus to a great degree may be prevented those later conflicts between will and authority that do so much to arouse in the minds of the youth alienation and bitterness toward parents and teachers, and too often resistance of all authority, human and divine. {CG 85.1}

Allow No Arguments or Evasions.--The first care of the parents should be to establish good government in the family. The word of the parents should be law, precluding all arguments or evasions. Children should be taught from infancy to implicitly obey their parents. {CG 85.2}

     Strict discipline may at times cause dissatisfaction, and children will want their own way; yet where they have learned the lesson of obedience to their parents, they are better prepared to submit to the requirements of God. Thus the training received in childhood influences the religious experience and molds the character of the man. {CG 85.3}

Permit No Exceptions.--As teachers in their own family, parents are to see that the rules are not disobeyed. . . . By allowing their children to go on in disobedience, they fail to exercise proper discipline. Children must be brought to the point of submission and obedience. Disobedience must not be allowed. Sin lies at the door of the parents who allow their children to disobey. . . . Children are to understand that they are to obey. {CG 85.4}

Require Prompt, Perfect Obedience.--When parents fail to require prompt and perfect obedience in their children, they fail to lay the right foundation of character in their little ones. They prepare their children to dishonor them when they are old, and bring sorrow to their hearts when they are nearing the grave. {CG 86.1}

Requirements Should Be Reasonable.--The requirements of the parents should always be reasonable; kindness should be expressed, not by foolish indulgence, but by wise direction. Parents are to teach their children pleasantly, without scolding or faultfinding, seeking to bind the hearts of the little ones to them by silken cords of love. Let all, fathers and mothers, teachers, elder brothers and sisters, become an educating force to strengthen every spiritual interest, and to bring into the home and the school life a wholesome atmosphere, which will help the younger children to grow up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. {CG 86.2}

     In our own training of children, and in the training of children of others, we have proved that they never love parents and guardians less for restraining them from doing evil. {CG 86.3}

Reasons for Obedience Should Be Given.--Children are to learn to obey in the family government. They are to form a symmetrical character that God can approve, maintaining law in the home life. Christian parents are to educate their children to obey the law of God. . . . The reasons for this obedience and respect for the law of God may be impressed upon the children as soon as they can understand its nature, so that they will know what they should do, and what they should abstain from doing. {CG 86.4}

The Parent's Word Should Be Law.--Your children, that are under your control, should be made to mind you. Your word should be their law. {CG 87.1}

 Many Christian parents fail to command their children after them, and then wonder that their children are perverse, disobedient, unthankful, and unholy. Such parents are under the rebuke of God. They have neglected to bring their children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. They have failed to teach them the first lesson of Christianity: "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." "Foolishness," says the wise man, "is bound in the heart of a child." The love of folly, the desire to do evil, the hatred of holy things, are some of the difficulties that parents must meet in the home mission field. . . . {CG 87.2}

     In the strength of God, parents must arise and command their households after them. They must learn to repress wrong with a firm hand, yet without impatience or passion. They should not leave the children to guess at what is right, but should point out the way in unmistakable terms and teach them to walk therein. {CG 87.3}

Influence of One Disobedient Child.--One disobedient child will do great harm to those with whom he associates, for he will fashion other children after his own pattern. {CG 87.4}

Winking at Sin.--Teach your children to honor you, because the law of God lays this duty upon children. If you allow your children to lightly esteem your wishes and pay no regard to the laws of the household, you are winking at sin; you are permitting the devil to work as he will; and the same insubordination, want of reverence, and love of self will be carried with them even into the religious life and into the church. And the beginning of all this evil is charged in the books of heaven to the neglect of the parents. {CG 87.5}

Habit of Obedience Established by Repetition.-- Lessons on obedience, on respect for authority, need to be often repeated. This kind of work done in the family will be a power for good, and not only will the children be restrained from evil and constrained to love truth and righteousness, but parents will be equally benefited. This kind of work which the Lord requires cannot be done without much serious contemplation on their part, and much study of the Word of God, in order that they may instruct according to His directions. {CG 88.1}

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